


Donatello was a Babe

by AtlasAffogato



Series: Oh My God They Were Roomates [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Bisexual Cassian Andor, Crack, Din is soft for corin, Gen, Humor, M/M, the three hispanics live together and cause chaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlasAffogato/pseuds/AtlasAffogato
Summary: Poe looked down at the ping pong table and frowned."Why the fuck are you guys playing beer pong at 9 o'clock on a Thursday?"(yes bitches im back on my shit)
Relationships: Corin the Stormtrooper (Rescue and Regret)/The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV), mention of poe/finn
Series: Oh My God They Were Roomates [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609303
Comments: 13
Kudos: 109





	Donatello was a Babe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyIrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyIrina/gifts), [DestielPhanCaleo_Shipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielPhanCaleo_Shipper/gifts).



> yeah you better believe im back on my shit with these crackheads. Shout out to my best friend DestielPhan_CaleoShipper for encouraging me to write and helping me with the spanish because I'm white as fuck.   
> Also, Cassian is bisexual because I said so.  
>  Besides, gays flock together.

“So basically,” Cassian throws back the remainder of his drink and tosses the red cup on the floor. “What I’m saying is,” he transfers the ping pong ball to his right hand and aims his shot. He tosses the ball and it bounces off the ring of a solo cup on the other side of the table and onto the floor. “Donatello was the sexiest renaissance painter, hands down. 10 out of 10 would blow in a bathroom.” 

Din picked up the ball from the floor and shook his head. “No way man, I’m telling you, Da Vinci was hot in his day. Not to mention Raphael.” He whistled appreciatively. Cassian leaned forward shaking his head. 

“Uh uh man, no way, Raphael was baby faced.” He kept talking as Din aimed, threw, and missed. “I’m telling you, Donatello was a babe. Raphael’s  _ ninja-turtle _ is more attractive than him, man!” He caught the ball before it fell off the table and chucked it back to Din, not caring where it goes. It hit Din in the stomach.

Din’s face fell. “Please tell me you weren’t attracted to the ninja-turtles growing up.” Cassian shuffled on his feet and bit his lower lip. 

“Well,” he rubbed the back of his neck and brushed away the hair in front of his eyes. “Not exactly.” He murmured. Din gaped before bursting out laughing. He threw his head back and howled, holding his stomach. 

“Oh-ho my god!” Din wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. “Oh my god dude.” He started wheezing again. Din held onto the table to keep himself upright, collapsed in half wheezing out laughter. 

“It's not that funny you  _ melodramático. _ ” Cassian crossed his arms over his chest and glared when Din kept laughing, shaking his head to confirm  _ oh no it definitely is that funny.  _

A door slammed down the hall and Cassian looked up to Poe coming out of his room, sweatpants on backwards and his hair a mess. He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and glared at Din. He’s eyes were baggy from sleep and his beard patchy. “Would you shut the fuck up.” He moaned at Din, dragging a hand down his face. Din straightened up, coughing away the rest of his giggles. He turned to Poe with a shit eating grin. 

“Hey Poe, guess what?” Cassian slapped a hand down on the table. 

“ _ Cállate la pinche boca!”  _ Cassian practically yelled from across the table. Poe’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he looked between the two of them. 

“Jesus, alright.” Poe looked down at the ping pong table and frowned. He scratched his head and shook his head as he yawned. “Why the fuck are you guys playing beer bong at,” He checked the clock on the microwave. “9 o’clock on a Thursday?” Din stepped away from the table to open the fridge and grab a slice of leftover pizza from the night before. 

Din asked Poe, pointing to him with a slice of cold pizza, “The real question is, why  _ aren’t _ you?” He took a large bite and Cassian shuddered. Poe shrugged.

“Point taken.” he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a slice for himself before settling on a chair pushed away from the table. He scanned the table to see who was winning. Din was winning with four cups left, while Cassian had only two. “Cass! Dude, come on, I thought you said you played basketball in college, how are you losing?” Cassian sighed.

“I did  _ not  _ say I played basketball in college, I said I played soccer. For half a season. Before they cut me from the team—this isn’t my thing!” Cassian threw up his hands. “I don’t even know how he’s doing so well.” He gestured over to Din who flashed a cheeky smile, teeth full of half chewed pizza. Cassian glared at him. "Just throw the damn ball." Din shrugged and tossed the ball into one of Cassian's cups. "Oh come on!" He wailed. Din chuckled and took another bite of pizza.

Cassian grimaced at Din as he lifted the cup to his lips. "Cold pizza is disgusting, you  _ animals _ ." Din just laughed at him. A phone started buzzing on the kitchen counter and Poe grabbed it, seeing a picture of Corin kissing Din's cheek with the name  _ Mi Amor  _ followed with a disgusting amount of heart emojis. Poe held the phone up, talking through a mouthful of pizza. " _ Mi Amor _ is calling." Din glared at Poe and snatched the phone out of his hand. He stepped down the hall to take the call, but not before Poe could hear him saying "good morning handsome" into the phone. Poe exchanged looks with Cassian and rolled his eyes. Din was disgustingly in love. It was annoying. 

"So," he started, swallowing his bite. "Why are you playing beer pong again?" Cassian took a long drink from his solo cup and said nothing. Poe looked at him, raised his eyebrows questioningly. Cassian shrugged. 

"I dunno. We had beer." He grinned and Poe sighed, rolling his eyes. 

"You are so fucking lucky you don't have to go to work today." Cassian sighed, bliss painted across his face.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice." Poe frowned. 

"Aw fuck off." Cassian laughed at him.

Din came back into the kitchen, still speaking on the phone. "Yeah, I'll be over in 15. Alright see you soon. Alright, love you too, bye." He hung up and walked towards the front door. "Sorry man I've gotta go, Corin's car won't start, I just gotta take him to work real quick. I'll be back." He pulled his sneakers on and snagged a leather jacket off the coat rack. 

Cassian threw his arms up. "What about our game?" Din just gestured to Poe. 

"Play with Poe. I'll be back later, just have Poe fill in for me." He winked at Poe. "Maybe Poe can win for once with the lead I built." He opened the door and left. 

Poe rolled his eyes. He sighed when Cassian turned to him. "Well, as much as I would like to get drunk first thing in the morning, I need to get ready for work. I'm only working a half shift today, I got an audition tonight." Cassian straightened up, intrigued.

"Oh?" 

"Yeah. It's just a commercial though."

"What for?" 

Poe clammed up, swallowing his pizza with shifty eyes. "Nothing, it's just some random medication. Probably for rashes or something." Poe took his leave and walked down the hall to the bathroom, starting up the shower. Cassian narrowed his eyes, watching the closed door. Suspicious. Shrugging to himself, Cassian downed the remainder of his beer and bent down to retrieve the discarded cups. He tossed them in the trash and went to his room. 

Cassian opened his door, left cracked, and flipped on the light. He stopped in his tracks. "BeeBee are you fucking kidding me?!" 

BeeBee sat on Cassian's pillow, unashamed of the puke across Cassian's blankets. Cassian groaned loudly. "You devil cat! What the fuck is wrong with you why couldn't you puke on your dad's bed." Cassian grumbled angrily at the cat while he stripped the bed of the sheets and blankets. He wrinkled his nose at the smell and glared at BeeBee. "Fuck you." She just meowed in response. Cassian dumped the sheets in his laundry basket and hoisted it up to rest on his hip. He grabbed his bag of quarters and left the room, shooting one more glare at BeeBee on his way out. He smacked his hand against the bathroom door where he could hear Poe blasting Selena and singing along. He smacked the door a few more times and screamed Poe's name.

The music stopped. "WHAT?" Poe screamed through the door.

"I'M DOING MY LAUNDRY DON'T LOCK ME OUT. " Cassian screamed back. 

"OKAY." The music picked back up, along with Poe's terrible off-key voice. Cassian rolled his eyes and left the apartment.

-

Thirty minutes later found Cassian transferring his sheets from the washing into the drying and swiping through Tinder.  _ No. No. No. Really? No. Hmmmm, maybe _ . Cassian shut the door and slotted two quarters into the machine, changing the settings without having to look. He narrowed his eyes at the picture on his phone. She was very pretty.  _ Oh, nope she's a trump supporter, byebye.  _ Cassian sighed, setting his phone down on a washing machine and rubbing at his eyes. Online dating was such a sham. Trying to find a real connection was next to impossible. Trying to find someone who was fine with his sexuality was even worse. Cassian had only been on two dates in the past six months. Which, honestly, he was fine, he didn't need a relationship to be happy. It would just be nice. Besides, knowing both his roommates had boyfriends was a bit disheartening. (Did Finn count as a boyfriend? They didn't really date, just fucked when they were free and played jenga with Corin.) 

Cassian really had no right to be upset about Corin and Din dating, he was the one to introduce them after all. Which, in reality, makes him wingman of the century for forcing Din to ask him out after him making googly eyes at  _ Cassian's new friend _ for two weeks. 

Cassian pulled himself up to sit on the washing machine and watched his sheets tumble around and around in the dryer. God, he loved his friends. He was happy with life. He didn't need a relationship. He was good. Gucci. Absolutely fine with being alone forever. No problem. 

A banging drew Cassian out of his thoughts. He looked over to see a woman kicking the sole vending machine in the laundry room. She kicked the machine again and shook it violently. "Come on you piece of shit!" She growled at the machine, smacking the keypad. 

"Problem?" Cassian called out. She looked up, glaring at him and then the machine. 

"Stupid machine ate my dollar." She smacked the glass with a growl. 

"Here." Cassian offered his bag of change. The woman whipped her head around, glaring at the offered money.

"I don't need your charity." She snarled. Cassian pulled back. 

"Damn, alright." He went to say more before she cut him off.

"I can pay for my own shit. I'm not some charity case." 

Cassian blew out a nervous breath. "Jesus, alright, I was just trying to be nice."

"Well don't." The woman snapped, returning to shaking the machine. Cassian just watched his dryer, making a point of not looking her way. Best not to engage with the crazies. Out of the corner of his eye Cassian could see the woman shaking the machine back and forth and side to side.  _ Jesus Christ dude. _

Cassian started fiddling with his phone, eventually resolving to play Call of Duty to pass the time. Cassian was on his fifth game when he was started out of his focus by someone kicking the machine he was sitting up. He looked up to see the same woman as before. He hardened his face as he looked up at her. "What?" 

Her voice was hesitant. "Do you still have those quarters?" Cassian blinked. 

"Uh yeah. How much you need?" The woman kept her gaze on the ground, fists bunched at her sides and left knee shaking. 

"50 cents for a bag of chips." 

"Okay." Cassian said, not moving. She looked up at him and Cassian snapped into movement, setting his phone down and grabbing his bag. He set two quarters in the palm of her hand. 

The woman's jaw worked, her eyes glued to the money in her hand. "Thanks." She gritted out before spinning on her heel and stomping over to the machine. Cassian watched her put in the quarters and grab a bag of barbecue chips from the bottom, immediately tearing into it and stuffing the chips in her mouth. 

Cassian looked back to his machine to see the sheets were done. He hopped off the machine and opened the dryer, pulling the warm sheets into his arms. He checked for stains from the vomit and found none. Cassian stuffed the sheets into his laundry basket and grabbed his phone and bag of change. He looked over at the woman, seeing her sitting in front of a running washing machine and licking her fingers. Cassian gave her a small nod as he passed her on the way out of the laundry room and back into the hallway. 

-

Back on the fourth floor, Cassian could hear commotion from three doors down. Rolling his eyes to himself, he opened the front door to find Din sat on the couch screaming at the TV. Din didn't even acknowledge his presence, just kept screaming. "COME ON MAN WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR SHE'S FUCKING TOXIC!" Cassian looked to the screen to see the fucking  _ Bachelor _ playing on the TV. He sighed and turned to Din with a pointed look. 

"I thought you said you wouldn't watch this anymore because it makes you mad?" Din didn't even look at him, just grabbed a pillow and held it to his chest.

"I'M TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED NOW THERE'S NO TURNING BACK." Cassian winced. 

" _ Ay hombre _ ,  _ cállate ya _ . God, you're gonna give me hearing aids." Cassian took his laundry into his room, making his bed and slamming the door when BeeBee tried to sneak in. "Not on my watch sister." He hisses at her. Cassian walks back into the kitchen and grabs himself a banana before dropping onto the couch next to Din. 

"So tell me what's going on." He prods at Din's shoulder and the man relaxes a fraction. Din rambles on about the contestants, about some woman lying to the producers and being...fake? It was hard for Cassian to understand Din when he was yelling at such a fast pace. He finally focused back onto the TV when the bachelor gives out the final rose for the rose ceremony. Din sighs in relief. 

"Thank god she's going home." He exhales. Cassian just shakes his head. 

"I will never be able to understand your obsession with this show." Din shrugged.

"Me neither honestly."

Cassian sighed and reclined back in his seat, propping up his feet on the coffee table. "Hey," he prodded Din again. "You working today or what?" 

Din shook his head, flipping through shows on Hulu. "Nah, I stopped by the office after I dropped off Corin and they didn't have anything for me, but I'm still technically on roster so if they have something for me then I'll have to go, if not," he gestured to the living room. Cassian nodded. "Now," Din settled down into the couch. "What should we watch?" Cassian perked up at that.

"We still need to watch Handmaid's Tale." Din nodded and searched for it, putting on the first episode. Cassian stretched out across the couch, kicking his feet across Din's lap. He grumbled but didn't move them. 

Yeah. Cassian was good. Boyfriend, girlfriend, it didn't matter. This is what he loved about his life. All he needed was his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> oooooooooo who was that woman?? Could it be Jyn?? ;)))


End file.
